20 January 2012

New ITR Team Member - Brownie

"We're proud to have such a positive influential representative on the team." -ITR's co-owner, Tim Long.
After extensive negotiations, Inside Trail Racing and UltraDrinkerRunner, JT (Brownie), have inked an athlete endorsement agreement for 2012.  JT will be representing ITR as somewhat of the black sheep variety.  ITR's co-owner and race director, Tim Long, confirms, "After pacing me at Hardrock and Leadville last year, I didn't have much choice but to bring JT aboard."  Long went on, in a quiet, mumbling voice, "I just hope La Sportiva and the other sponsor partners don't find out."

With accomplishments like 114th at the Pikes Peak Marathon and 138th at Leadville (back when there were only like 200 finishers), Brownie has proven two things:  Beer drinking is an intrinsic part of our beloved sport and beer drinking does not always equal success.

Inside Trail had to order a custom uniform for the Colorado Springs speedster and, at $5.38 a pop, it's well worth it.  When offered a standard gold Patagonia technical team shirt, JT quipped, "the pump cheese on my fries won't show up on it as well if dribbled."  ITR concurred with that sound logic and signed the agreement with sweaty palms.

Inside Trail's other owner, Tim Stahler was unavailable for comment.  We later learned he was unaware of the acquisition and is filing a suit to block the agreement.

So, if you see JT out on the trails and he's not wearing his La Sportivas or (God forbid) his ITR Team shirt, follow the example of the bar-top woman in the above photo and kick him in the balls.

9 comments:

  1. I heard he needs some ITR bun huggers ... compression gear to recover from that shot at the start of the post.

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  2. I'm going to have to check with my agent to see if this is allowed after my recent deal with the Nike Oregon Project.

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  3. This is madness! A sponsored athlete now??? I won't be able to deal with him. He is constantly trying to best me by running in those silly floppy hats and long sleeve cotton shirts and baller gym shorts. Plus, he drank a few Bloody Marys minutes before our last duel and still won. This just isn't right. Something is wrong with the balance in the force. I will stop at nothing until I am sponsored by PBR themselves now! Watch out!!

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  4. You do realize, he'll be drinking beer out of his sponsored shoe?!

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  5. I guess I'm okay with him joining the team... but only as long as his uniform consists of those high-water, acid wash jeans.

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  6. Brownie: Now that you've gone to the next level with Tim's assistance, please don't forget where you came from. Those of us "down here"--you know, the little people--still admire you and we don't want to be disappointed if all this success goes to your head, especially after you shred the Hardrock course this July. Whatever you do, please break 44 hours. :-)

    Wyatt

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  7. Darn, Wyatt, I actually considered you for the ITR Team but that 44 hardrock comment just eliminated you. Now we have to keep looking… ;)

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